Learn How To Be Alone And How To Like It
In this post, you will learn how to take yourself on a date and make it an enjoyable experience. Don’t miss out on the 20 fun solo date ideas you can try at the end of the post.
First, you need to understand that your attitude towards being alone is important. You need to change your mentality on the topic to truly benefit from it. Otherwise, you will feel like you are being punished.
If you often reject the idea, it will eventually become categorized as a negative experience you’re being forced to do. Consider that you may be overestimating being accompanied.
There is still misinformation about going out by yourself, which may leave you feeling exposed and ashamed to be out alone. It is not only for those who don’t have friends or the anti-social.
In reality, enjoying your own company is a privilege. Although we spend a lot of time alone, it is not necessarily quality time.
Most people use their alone time to worry about life or reminisce. Not doing something that is deliberately improving their lives. If this is you, I talk about being mindful of your thoughts in the post below, make sure you read it.
Related: 3 Steps To Become More Confident
Why take yourself on a date
If you don’t enjoy your own company, how do you expect others to?
Depending on others to have fun and enjoy life makes for quite a dependent life. If confidence is a belief, then believing that you cannot enjoy yourself without others is a mental barrier to your self-confidence.
You may feel uncomfortable or self-conscious at first, but it’s something you have to start doing to truly enjoy it. How much time you need alone is determined by your individual personality traits.
A few benefits of spending quality time alone are below:
– Being alone leaves you feeling refreshed and energized. It’s a power booster. It is particularly good when you are feeling overwhelmed or irritated.
– Get to know yourself better without the burden of others’ opinions or timelines. Do what you want without feeling guilty or pressed.
– Control your time – how you use it, what you use it for. It gives control of choice as well. Something unconfident people usually give to others.
How to take yourself on a date – Rules & Guidelines
Taking yourself on a date is about spending QUALITY time with yourself.
You are forbidden to: be on social media, compare your life, complain, worry, put yourself down, trash talk or hate others. You could have done that in the comfort of your home sitting in self-pity. Solo dates are to feel good. Be positive. You decided to go out, so be nice to yourself!
You can: make plans (only exciting things: places you want to go, experiences you want to have), introspect, write your feelings, compliment yourself, take many photos, observe others, notice details, and smile.
The purpose is for you to enjoy your company and stay in tune with your pace and energy.
You are not being rushed or influenced by others. All decisions are made by you. You are free to change plans and change your mind without repercussion or consequence. It is the ultimate way to be yourself, by yourself.
I leave a few tips about how to begin. This is where strategy plays an important role.
– A good tip is to go to make a plan like you would if you were accompanied so you won’t feel silly or wander.
– Dress nicely and care for yourself, so you look good. You want to feel your best when trying something new.
– This is a commitment you made to yourself, so make it a priority over things for others or daily tasks. It is easy to set being alone aside because it does not seem as immediately important as other people’s crying needs, but it is. It is important to you, so put yourself first. Try negotiation to do what others need later.
– The idea is that you explore without interference or impositions so all decisions must be made by you. Cut unsolicited opinions on locations, outfits… If you are not sure, make 2 plans and pick the one that resonates with you better on the day.
– The idea is that you have fun and not waste your time, so you must go to places you like.
– Choose locations you always wanted to go to but couldn’t or those that seem attractive to you. Also, locations you imagined being when your perfect life comes. For example, places you want to go to when you have a boyfriend, or when you lose weight. Enjoy them now!
– It is not a requirement to spend a lot of money. Make your research. The internet has a lot to offer. Museums in your city, art galleries, libraries, or parks are usually free. Find coupons for discounts on experiences like massages or manicures.
– Although it would be nice. You don’t even have to leave your house. If you choose to stay home, make sure you tell others that you need this time for mental health. So you can be left alone and enjoy.
– Be flexible when you start. Find the best time when you are not needed. Maybe it’s in the morning or the afternoon when everyone is working. Use your lunch hour for work or nights when everyone is sleeping.
– How long you need alone is dependent on you. Start small with a few minutes at a time and increase it as you get used to it.
– Remove the energy takers. This time is to recharge and come back as a better you. Don’t be afraid to mute notifications or exchange your phone with a book.
– Decide at home if you want to talk to people that approach you.
– Share your location with a close friend.
Pin it 📌
My solo date experience
I decide on my solo dates based on a few criteria:
– how far do I want to go;
– the list of places and experiences I have written (I keep a list);
– how much money do I want to spend (I’ve had solo dates where I spent no money);
– time I have available without being rushed home;
– how I’m feeling that day (may not be in the mood to have people around me and choose a quiet location instead);
– what my soul needs (peace and quiet or the excitement of trying something new).
My Solo Date – one of many:
On this casual afternoon, I woke up with body pain. When that happens I make a point to dress nicely and leave the house to go for a walk.
I went somewhere close but beautiful. Initially, I wanted sunlight and to feel active. When I arrived I changed my mind.
Instead of walking, I wanted to do something different. I chose to try a new drink – bubble tea (I loved it 
btw) and sat at a cafe enjoying the view and reading more. Left only to see the sunset. And went directly home.
What I enjoyed about this date:
– I was flexible enough to change my mind and do what I wanted instead of what I planned.
– I was brave enough to be the only one at the cafe without company and not care. Years ago I would have left immediately with fear of looking lonely.
– I talked to the waitress about my order without allowing her to rush me. Years ago I would have been mortified for not knowing exactly what I wanted.
– I asked a stranger to take my photo. We had a not awkward interaction. This is progress because I’m very shy.
Hope this inspired you to take yourself somewhere and have some solo experiences. Find below 20 solo date ideas to help you get started. Keep reading.
Take yourself on a date – 20 fun ideas of all budgets (with photos)
I have tried many of these ideas myself so I guarantee fun.
1. Go to the beach
Bring a drink, sit in the sand, wet your feet and watch the sunset. Or go to a cafe with a beach view and order something, read a book and enjoy.
Plan the time and transportation to go and to come back, especially if you leave far away from the beach.
Wear sunscreen and comfortable shoes.
2. Art date
Go to a museum, art gallery or photo exposition.
To find these events search “art gallery + your location” and you will find what is available close to you.
Many art galleries are of free entrance and museums have discounted prices for different ages and special dates. Photography expositions and interactive expositions are usually paid so plan in advance and accordingly.
To have a good time, I suggest you do a simple search on the life of the artist or photographer and read about the context of the expositions usually available in the brochures and websites.
Look at the art and analyse it. Give your opinion, even if it is not an expert.
The exposition below had free entrance and was very educational.
3. Sunset watch time
Viewpoints, mountains, beaches or parks. Anywhere with a view is a good choice.
This is a good time to meditate, think of good things and make plans for the future. Or simply clear your mind from all thoughts and enjoy nature’s beauty.
4. Bookshop and coffee or tea
I call it the tumblr girl plan because tumblr has the best mood boards for this.
This is a more laid-back plan. Great for when you feel low energy and don’t want to move too much.
Go to a cute coffee place and order a coffee or tea. I prefer hot cocoa or orange juice. It is a great time to journal and write your thoughts and feelings.
The idea of going to a bookshop is to explore any interesting books or magazines. You will be surprised by what is available to you. I once found a complete guide to makeup for 5 euros.
A lot of bookshops these days have coffee places attached saving you time. You can also read something and be entertained away from your energy takers – bad conversations and phones.
5. Long walk
There are many benefits of taking long walks.
Physical – it is a form of exercise. You can get sunlight and it reduces stress.
Mental – improves your mindset and humour.
Bring your water, a hat and earphones. Sing out loud, maybe dance a little. You will find freedom in thinking less and just being in the moment. No pressures, expectations or worries.
6. Photoshoot
Take a tripod or a water bottle. Dress cutely and bring sunglasses. Walk around your city and take photos.
7. Picnic
Get some takeaway sushi or other food you like, a drink, and a towel and go to a garden/park. Enjoy!
8. Get a drink
You can have a mocktail or anything with alcohol, it is your choice. Opt for a place with an ambience to help you relax, instead of the places you usually go. It is the perfect occasion to try something different.
Safety tips – share our location with a close friend. Don’t leave your drink unsupervised. Ask them to bring your drink only if you are present, and don’t let strangers approach your glass.
You don’t have to stay long if you don’t want to. You can also join another activity to this by going to a live music bar or a theatre after.
9. Do a workshop
It is an activity where many people go alone. You will find like-minded people with the same interests as you. It is a fun way to spend your time and you get to learn something new.
You can sign up for workshops online and do it from home. I did this ceramic one sitting at my dinner table. It was fun.
10. Try a dance class
Choose according to your taste. I have tried hip hop and afro house and usually avoid couples classes as I don’t want to dance with a stranger.
Belly dancing and samba are good options as well if you like upbeat styles.
The first class in most dance schools is usually free, so you can try and see if you like it.
11. Shopping day/thrifting
If you like window shopping this is the perfect plan for you. If you don’t, I suggest you try this when you have money and need something.
Shopping is fun for all. I found that it only depends on what you are buying. Clothes and makeup are not for everyone, so you should choose a store you like – music, games, books, electronics, furniture. Anything that gets you excited.
Make a list of the stores and flea markets close to you and make an itinerary. Add that store you always ignore to the list. If you can avoid a mall, do that.
Go window shopping, and see what is available. You might be surprised at what you might find. Set a budget for anything you might like.
12. Cultural Activity
Go to the theatre, opera, musical, conferences, or ballet.
There are many more ideas to choose from. Find what is available in your city’s cultural centre and actively look for affordable events. Discounted experiences on websites like groupon are always available.
13. Pampering
Go to a spa, or sauna, or get a facial. Try a massage, or get a mani-pedi. Go to a hairstylist instead of doing it yourself.
14. Concert
Find in advance if any concerts are happening in your city. Choose concerts in closed venues to avoid crowds and guarantee safety.
15. Diner date at a fancy restaurant
One of my favourite plans to do solo. Get to know yourself better through food by trying different plates from different countries. It is a great chance to be adventurous and try something new.
You will refine your palate and increase your knowledge of gastronomy.
A few tips. Check the menu and prices previous to going. If it is a popular place book in advance a table for one away from the bathroom. Ask the waitress if it is okay to take photos. Try food from different countries.
16. Physical activity
Always a good idea, fun and relaxing.
Some suggestions to do solo are rock climbing, going on a slide, sky diving, trampoline, skating, biking, swimming, running and yoga.
An instructor is usually available to help you and no monthly subscription is usually involved. The rest of these activities you can do yourself with no need for equipment, just find a certified instructor on youtube. You can rent a bike and skates at rental stores for a day.
17. Live music
Nothing renews the soul like music. You can listen to your favourite songs from real singers at a fraction of the cost of a concert.
Once you have a usual spot, you will go there often. Instagram is your friend to find live music places and a google search should help you as well.
18. Movie night
You can do a movie night at the cinema or home.
Choose the movies previously by making a selected list to choose from. You don’t want to waste time choosing on the day. If you are not sure what to watch choose from different genres and pick the one that suits you best on the day.
Bring food like tacos, hotdogs, pizza, sushi, and of course popcorn.
If you are at home, you can decorate the room if you want.
19. Cooking class
Choose to learn how to make a dish you love or something you spend a lot of money buying. You can also make it your signature dish.
20. Day trip
A concept I have learned from Abena a black woman travel influencer. The idea is that you go to a city close to you (1 to 2 hours away) and come back on the same day.
You can enjoy the perks and feeling of travelling at a fraction of the cost and without paying for lodgement.
How to day trip below:
– choose your destination and make an itinerary including local attractions, any events happening, and where you will eat.
– decide how long you want to stay in that city and plan your transportation to go and come back accordingly.
– go early and come back early to avoid any issues and to enjoy the whole day.
– check the menu and prices of anything you want to do before going. Don’t be afraid to call and make reservations to guarantee your spot.
– ask a stranger to take your photo, and if you don’t like the photo ask someone else.
– share your location often. Leave any place you feel uncomfortable or mistreated.
Honourable mentions
Sip and paint, go to a sex shop, or try a floral arrangement class.
Final Thoughts
Learning how to take yourself on a date is very beneficial.
Understanding yourself better empowers you to become comfortable with yourself because you shut out external influences and become more authentic.
When you are alone, you are responsible for making every decision. You will realize that you are not only capable of doing anything you want by yourself. But you will also see how much you have been depending on others and letting them influence your choices.
In time, knowing your habits, cycles, and what you like and dislike will help you set much-needed boundaries.
You will say no more often to things you dislike. And offer your suggestion based on your personal experiences. You will be vocal about your needs as well because you took the time to figure them out.
Later, when you find enjoyment, you will purposely withdraw to spend time alone.
Hope this post was useful to you. Let me know in the comments which idea you will try first.
Disclaimer: This article is informational only. This article does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. If you have questions or concerns about mental health, you should make an appointment to see a board-certified psychologist. All the picture examples in this article were a result of self-photography and cannot be used without the creator’s permission.
More in Personal Development
Science has proved that confidence is practised and anyone can learn it. You can too.
These 3 steps will help you become more confident and a better version of yourself.
Get started on your dream life today with these 10 free things you can do for self-improvement.
These songs change the narrative on stereotypes. The lyrics evoke self-confidence and self-care and encourage leadership and independence.
These books are filled with ideas that can have a positive effect on your life. The way to expand is to acquire new information and books provide just that.
